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Stories from the Ironbound

I emailed a friend today, but I decided that I should start sharing these stories here:

My friend Freeze and Hadji came into town and we met the Clevland Women's Rugby Team, a quarter of which are lesbians. With that said, Freeze made out with three of the members in a four day span. Two of which were lesbians, hence he was dubbed "The Converter."

Last Friday, I met with the girls and played "Beer Jenga," which may be the best fucking game ever. EVER. EVER! First, begin with a pitcher of beer, and each person has a glass and when it's your turn, dump a small or large amount into a tumbler glass. When the glass hits the bottom, said person must drink. These people brought tongs with them to a bar. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? So hence, a large hangover followed.

Now this story begins with Hadji in a bar in New Jersey, the week before said event, Hadji hooked up with a cow. Not a literal one, but just a large female. MOO MOO! Let it be said, cows are sacred to his people. We now flash forward to present week, where Hadji meets up with her 'smaller' friends at same said bar.

Things aren't going well. So he calls Freeze, who comes up to the bar, downs a 24 oz beer and decides to carry a conversation with one of these said smaller friends.

"I speak four languages," said the woman.
"Well, what are they?" Freeze responds.
"English, Spanish, some German, and sign language," the woman says.
"Sign language isn't a language, "he says, laughing hysterically.
She disagrees and appears to be offended.
"Are you telling me there is an island of deaf people out there. Yeah, do you?" he says.


Hadji laughs so hard that he has to take a knee.
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