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While Standing in Line at Wal-Mart

We were standing in line, and Al asked some girl what town we were in and she said, “Shay – lot.” Al says over and over again, “Here I am, shopping in a Wal- Mart in Shay-Lot, Michigan, shopping for black towels.”

In line, we start talking, and then John disappears and brings back a calendar and hands it to Freeze. He says, “Yo, this would look great in your place.”

It’s a calendar of young naked men posing.

“Look at that, they diet. They’ve got great abs, and look how intently they’re staring at you Freeze. It’s like they’re in ‘L’ with you?” I say. We’ve grown accustomed to not saying love, so we’ve replaced with just “L.” Ironically, it may be one of the few words we find taboo to say as a group, because we use obscenities as if they were prepositions.

“I’m not getting that” Freeze says.

“Stop thinking of yourself, Dickhead. Give it Kelly. For God’s sake, give her something to look forward to when she comes over. After all, all she has to look at is you.” Al says.

“Al should be a NASCAR driver.” I say, because transitions are unneeded.

“Yea, he should. Are there any Middle Eastern drivers?” Freeze asks.

“No.” John says.

“You’d be breaking the race barrier, a pioneer, Al. Who’d be your sponsor?” Freeze asks.

“Camel.” Al says.
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